The Age of Indulgence

Standing in the sheets of rain at the train station this morning, I was rueing the fact I’d put off buying a rain hat, thinking it only future closet clutter, cute for all of 10 minutes once a month when no one would see me. A useless indulgence. Then I looked down the train platform. Same height, weight, age… except she had a great rain hat on and had managed to look pulled together, chic AND dry. Clearly she indulged.

Which led me to start considering if I had reached the “age of indulgence.” Yes definitely. In fact, my girlfriend Lizzie had a “moment” last weekend when she commented on this age. She had attended a party the night before where everyone was “her age.” (over 35, under 50…all I’ll say) She called me the next morning distraught, having to report everyone else at the party was OLD. And yes, they were her age, but they were OLD! Many were a little overweight, several had gone “natural” (aka GREY) and none had considered the baggy look went out at the age of 25.

My point is this. When we are young, we join health clubs (often to meet men), we get manicures, we CONSUME fashion magazines (even when we can’t afford 1/10 of what they show). In other words, we are very self involved in the pursuit of what we want – men, career advancement, hell, if we’re honest the envy of other women. But as we “progress”, we get so distracted by others’ needs (kids, husbands, parents…) many of us tend to lose our self focus. We categorize our excuses under “no time”, “no money,” or “no reason.” Well let me tell you ladies, we’re dead wrong.

We live in a visual society. People make judgments everyday about who they want to surround themselves with, date, play, work. While not ALL of that is based on looks, anyone who tells you it doesn’t matter is LYING. I’m not saying your external presentation is the ONLY consideration, but don’t relegate it to the boxes stored in the basement either. As we “progress”, our personal appearance takes more and more work. And yet we often object to those things that would make us feel the best – exercise, sleep, make-up, good hair or a hot dress. So stop looking down your noses at those women heading off to the dermatologist or sneaking Lucky in their bags. And get your ass to gym. Don’t do it for others, do it for yourself.

When you reach the age of indulgence, indulge. Whether it is a new hair color, personal trainer, great bag, or Botox – at a certain point, this is not an indulgence but as necessary as food and water to your soul. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not about the mirror or finding a date, it’s a matter of self respect. In this YouTube world, we are all personas.

You may think you’re past the age where it matters. But here’s a newsflash. Economies tank and you might need a job. Divorce happens and you might need a date. Kids go to college and you might need a life. Indulgence is your insurance policy that you will not be left in the dust. If you choose to ignore this, more power to you. But then I do not want to hear you complain about your husband (or lack thereof), your social life, your sex life, your job or your lack of “life” in general. Gotta’ go…Sephora just opened. Ciao.

Jules