Shock and Awe

Growing up in the Midwest has been the cause of much of my “shock and awe” response to today’s new rules I suppose. We were not the hotbed of bleeding edge, progressive anything…poliitcs, fashion, culture. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that the overriding majority of folks I grew up with looked at the “edges” of life as dangerous, wild, lurid places that if you ventured to in any subject matter, you just might fall off the edge of the earth and get eaten.

I say this because as a mom of twin 14 year old boys, I am in the heart of shock and awe territory on a regular basis. Howard Stern, Bill Clinton, Lindsay Lohan… Take one of my recent “ahas”…Eminem. My boys love Eminem…yep…the ex-con who made my hometown “8 Mile” famous. I grew up doing my best to stay away from 8 mile road…definitely wild, dangerous and lurid. And now he’s mainstream and has more followers on Facebook than Obama. My boys actually put “Mockingbird” on my ipod.

My parents took the approach “don’t ask, don’t tell, and definitely don’t talk approach.” And they weren’t alone. Contrast that with my friend Tegan. She talks about EVERYTHING. She swears. She talks about sex, drugs, death…She doesn’t sugarcoat it…for anyone, her kids included. It helps that she has a magnetic personality, a quick smile, and she’s a therapist. But all that aside, she has a point. Once you talk about it, it sort of paves the way for other conversations that you NEED to have today with kids, particularly teenagers.

So here’s my new rule in this newly unfiltered world -- if anyone is going to talk to my kids about divorce, sex, drugs, ethics…anything…it’s going to be me, scary and uncomfortable as it might be. It’s no longer about protecting kids in this world, it’s about giving them the tools, the smarts and the judgment to navigate it. Because I guarantee you they will ask, they will tell, and they sure as hell will talk. So you better teach them who to ask, what to tell, and where to talk. Or they’re likely to end up in the headlines.

“…I can no longer play stupid or be immature
I got every ingredient, all I need is the courage
Like I already got the beat, all I need is the words
Got the urge, suddenly it's a surge
Suddenly a new burst of energy is occured
Time to show these free world leaders the three and a third
I am no longer scared now, I'm free as a bird
Then I turn and cross over the median curb
Hit the 'burbs and all you see is a blur from 8 Mile Road…”
-Eminem’s 8 Mile

Ciao.

Jules